Wednesday, July 16, 2008

The Single Christian Man

Its my experience that as a single Christian man things aren't the easiest. There seems to be only so many single Christian women of an acceptable age. I add acceptable age because being 34 I don't think its all that cool to be considering young girls 25 and under as possible candidates. This does make it hard, the fact that I've put certain conditions on a possible partner. I have many (unsaved) men telling me the only consideration is that they be legal. However I have known of Christian men marrying women 10 to 15 years their junior (I also know of the reverse happening too).

But all of this is beside the point and has little to do with what I'd like to address. Which simply is "are you putting certain standards on what God can provide in a wife or husband?"

Are you? No really search your heart and I'd be surprised that you don't have some pre-concieved idea about looks, earning capacity, age, ethnic background, intelligence. If its not this then it may be the fact that you have a senario in your head as to how it will occour. These are notions that you've either made up or accepted from the world. Even the ones from your Parents, your friends and even your Pastor. They are false. Only God knows the how, the why and the when. If you desire marriage and all that goes with it then I suggest you look to Him.

The world tells us if it feels good, do it. God tells us differently. Paul advises that it would be better if we weren't married at all and stayed single. Paul's advice is given in 1 Cor7:7-8 and is rather confronting.
1 Corinthians 7:7-8
I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.
Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.
At 22 I thought that I'd be married by now. Now at 34 I can tell you that there are things I can do for God that I could never be able to do if I had a wife and kids. Paul's advice is one that leads down the path of service.
1 Corinthians 7:32-35
I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
Being single we can give our all to God to the point where we are available at any moment to drop what we are doing and follow His lead. To be able to have time to listen and pray and study the scriptures. To grow and let Jesus be the all in all of our lives.

That is a hard challenge, give up something that we have been taught all our lives to expect. Its something thats supposed to be given to us, we are supposed to find that certain someone that Eve to my Adam. I often feel that way "Shouldn't i get this, everyone else is". Yet we all know of Spinster Aunts and Batchelor Uncles. It happens. Therefore is marriage not for all of us?
No Marriage is for all of us, just not for some in this world.
All of us who get married and those who don't will as the Bride of Christ experience a marriage of a kind not see before. Jesus is the one true groom who waits expectantly for His Bride the Church. This marriage will happen at the end of this world and the begining of the next. But we can find rest for ourselves in the fact that we are a part of His bride now.

We can find in Him the centre of our lives as one finds it in a wife or a husband. It isn't a lead role like a husband its not as a servant too. We become heirs with Him just as a wife becomes a part of the husbands family we will become a part of Jesus family, the God head.
But for now we should look to Him for direction as a wife looks to her husband. You are loved by Him, and this love isn't the Eros love that we get from a spouse. Its an AGAPE love that is deeper and stronger.

So don't be sad if you are not married. You are promised already to the true Groom. Jesus will always love you, Jesus will never forsake you. Jesus is the perfect groom. You will get none better than He.

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