"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." - Matthew 5:28Jesus sets the bar high doesn't he. Tell me you'd agree with the WWJD there.
Where am I going here?
Well like all men I've had a problem with looking too much. Well not as much as certain men but I do look and of course there's the pressure that comes with this and the eventual release from this pressure.
Of course where I'm going here is masturbation and porn. Duh!
I'm single 34 and a virgin. Yeah thats right never even had a chance at it. Really. I'm not lying here.
So some of you are now thinking this guys got to be a porn king. Well I'm not that into it and before the interent I didn't have much at all. Then came the internet and well you can guess where that ended up. So for the last 4 years I've been going through a roller coaster of either faithfulness and control or ... well smut.
When I was on top of it all and in control I was happy and exultant feeling clean and pure. Of course the opposite of this was true when I was mired down in the muck.
I had been praying to God for a way out of this cycle to one day be free. Of course the first thought was that marriage would get me out of this but, I realised early that a woman was not going to be the answer here. I knew that this was a fight and of course I was aggressive enough to fight this out and I thought I had the will to do this.
Did you notice something in the last sentence there?
Lots of I's huh! I think I proved that I didn't have the will to do this. Eventually my prayers changed. From give me the strength to give me the tools to live your way. Recently the tools came and in the form of the book "Every man's battle". I was given it by a friend and he said it was an easy read and that I'd get a lot out of it. So I did.
"I knew that this was a fight and of course I was aggressive enough to fight this out and I thought I had the will to do this. "
I read it. And it was like, yes done that, done that, oh yeah I done that. It reads like your own struggle with morality and sex. The whole stuff about your eyes darting about latching onto anything with the right kind of curves no matter who it is, thats the first time I'd ever read that kind of honesty. The guys who wrote this book were totally open about their struggles with their eyes. It was very refreshing.
They have some straightforward techniques in dealing with your "roving eyes" and they are very helpful. But there is a warning here.
These techniques will take time for them to become habit. They say about six weeks for the initial results. However as a man you will never be free from this struggle.
"This will not change you overnight."
So I can hear you all ask "Has it worked for you?"
My answer is yes it has. But I have to work at it. I have to continue to practice the techniques of bouncing my eyes away, to swatting away those pesky thoughts and memories of past images and movies and pictures. Do I lose still. Yeah, but I know why I lose now. Cause I stop using the tools God has given me through this book.
So I say give it a read.
If your single though your going to have to deal with the fact that you don't have a wife to help you through this. Personally I found it hard that they didn't include the single man a bit more. I am thinking of a single mans version of this cause it really leaves guys like me in the cold. Literally we have to go through this cold turkey. So its different. Sure for me who's NEVER had sex with anyone but myself its a problem. But then what about men who have been there and done it. One moment your a player and then well your not. I can only imagine the attacks those guys are going to get.
I'm trying to implement these tools now. Its a slow progress and I've fallen a few times since this all started but I can see a way ahead. Its like I'm in a dark hole looking for a way out. Then suddenly there is a ladder I can climb, I can hear a good friend tell me that this is the way out. I still can't see a way out but I know that my friend sent the ladder down for me. All I have to do is hold onto my friends ladder and work my way out, rung by rung, one at a time.
Well thats "every man's battle".
I say do yourself a favour and buy it.