sought not searching
finding not found
discovering not discovered
Have been thinking about how we get to know those we deem special. You know, mothers, fathers, siblings, cousins and those other special people who may become very special. Often the words used to describe the special person are as a "catch" like a possession, or at the worst "scoring". We have a child, a father, a niece, a wife, a partner there seems to be a finality to the relationship once the label has been set. Saying that there is finality in the possession status of another person is presumptuous however the assumption of finality is suggested. I have found this is false.
I have had an interesting time of the last few months getting to know a few special people. My niece's and nephew and some new friends oh, and the triune God revealed in Jesus Christ. Like the other special people God is hard to get to know just by believing that I can find God and that is all. There seems to be no end to how much more depth people have and the adventure (with very special people it is a great adventure) in this exploration is difficult, dangerous and worth it.
This fumbling dance that is getting to know another person can be very quick, very slow, when you think you understand the situation you discover more. This was a real revelation when practicing silence and finding out that what was on offer from God was intimacy. That this intimacy was what I actually wanted was a bit of a shock. I never thought about God like that, in fact I am quite sure I never thought about anyone like that. Which kind of makes any relationship quite difficult. My early attempts at trying to get to know more of God were very fumbling and I required the assistance of the community to be introduced properly. Since then there have been a few fumbles but there is a depth I find in God that leads me onward. Such depths I have seen in others. It is in acknowledging depth that has brought this new understanding.
There is a trail, a path that continues onward when you open up any person by relationship. As God has depth that is unfathomable and if we are made in his image then we too have a depth that is unfathomable. God wants intimacy with us and we also need intimacy as well. We do not just search for it, it is desired and sought for. When we find it, the depth that people have (yes I see God as a person) cannot be found in its totality. You are always in the state of finding within the depths. In those depths we are always discovering more and more about the other and our self. It is a constantly changing trail that will never really lead to a final door because, as the depths of the two merge and mix they change and shimmer in reflection and response to the other. This creates more to discover together, never reaching an end but always sought, finding and discovering.